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A Huntin' I'm Gonna Go

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(Toon 5some Quickgag #11)

A Huntin' I’m Gonna Go

Written By Salim Al-Mumin

    Deep in the thick of the Wacky Wood Forest an equally wacky character stalks through the brush with a shotgun in hand and a lookalike Elmer Fudd hat gracing his brow. The kooky klutz is none other than our very own, Jamal S. Jackson. Emerging from the bush he spoofs the classic Looney Tunes shorts by putting up his finger and shushing the viewing audience. Then in his best-worst Elmer Fudd impression he cheekily says,

Jamal: "Shsssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet...SHUT THE UP!! I’m hunting dwagons." [he then proceeds to do the Elmer Fudd laugh but hiccups before he finishes] "Excuse me."

The boy then returns to sneaking, unaware that right behind him his coy quarry, that color-changing camouflaged menace, Pyro the Chameleon Dragon, stealthy sneaks up close behind him. The Chameleon Dragon resumes his natural colors as he tip-toes ever so quietly behind Jamal shushing the audience as to not alert his comic foil. Jamal then suddenly stops, after having gotten the feeling of being watch. He whirls around to look behind him, but that wily 8-ton dragon is surprisingly quick and zips around with him at the exact moment to escape detection. Jamal's suspicion steadily continues to rise, growing all the greater, and fast as lightning he whirls back around twice to try and catch the unseen, but both times the cheeky dragon manages to quickly evade the boy's gaze. Suspicious and frustrated, Jamal stops and ponders for a minute scratching his head before he gets a clever idea. Suddenly, without warning, the boy jumps up and flips in the air landing back down on his head. Having taken Pyro by surprise the boy now spies the object of his outlandish hunt.

Jamal: "AH-HA!!" [he cries as he points his gun up at his scaly foe]

    Jamal's got his quarry dead-to-rights and prepares to fire, but before he can Pyro changes color once again fading from sight into the sun-soaked vibrant backdrop of the woodlands. Riddled by surprise and confusion, Jamal bounces up from the ground back onto his feet scanning the forest high and low for his wayward target.

Jamal: "Now Where Did That Skunk-Of-A-Dragon Go?!"

Just then, unbeknownst to the adolescent hunter, the dragon suddenly reappears behind him and plants a sharp kick right square between his buttocks knocking him flat onto his face. The wiseguy reptile then tramples over the boy as he dashes off into the woods with an impish chuckle. Boiling with humility and rage, Jamal leaps from the ground into the air shaking and quaking in fury. With his shotgun firmly in hand, the boy races after the dragon blazing with all the tenacity of an irate sabertooth.

Jamal: "OOOH!!! Come Back Here, You Dwatted Dwagon!! I’m Gonna Blow Your Horns Off!" [he says once again parodying Elmer Fudd]

    Quick as a jackrabbit, Pyro darts behind the trunk of a very skinny tree; completely disappearing from sight (somehow), then without the slightest pause or moment's thought Jamal follows immediately after also disappearing behind the trunk of the tall thin tree. A short-lived sequence soon after follows where the two cartoonish foils poke their heads and rears in and out from behind the tree trunk comically parodying a timeless gag from many a classic short before. This hackneyed joke continues seamlessly until Pyro finally pokes his head out from behind the tree to see Jamal’s posterior sticking out the other side. With a grin most fiendish and coy, Pyro lights up Jamal’s bottom with a quick breath of flame which sends the boy reeling up into the skies screaming a cry of pain as comical as it is nostalgic.

Jamal: "YIIEEE-OOOWWWWWOOHHHH!!"

    Jamal soon comes plummeting back down to Earth with a devastating CRASH, leaving a large crater to mark the spot where he lands. As gracefully as a feather, his hat floats gently down and lands beside the hole. A moment later, Jamal’s hand reaches up out of the crater and begins feeling around for the hat. Once his hand finally touches it, he snatches it back down into the crater with him.

    With a blaze of angry hellfire, Jamal leaps out of the hole and immediately takes aim at the smart-aleck reptile. The dragon is caught dead-center in the boy's crosshairs. Thinking fast, Pyro slams his tail down against the ground causing an miniature earthquake. The shaking of the earth beneath his feet throws off the boy's aim and knocks him to the ground. Jamal's gun goes amidst the turbulent shock and calamity shooting a rapid-fire discharge of multi-colored ammunition. Pyro ducks down to avoid the chaotic dispersal only to look over his shoulder a moment later to see the trees behind him adorned with picture-perfect recreations of timeless iconic paintings. Pyro casually walks over to Jamal as the boy rises to his feet and says,

Pyro: "Paint balls?"

Dusting himself off, Jamal replies,

Jamal: "What? You were expecting real bullets? Kids watch this show ya know?"

Pyro: "I hope not."

    Just then Whiskers Alleycat storms in from out of nowhere looking super pissed and mad as Hell. His beautiful fur is soaked and coated with paint and the scorching flames of hate and murder pop and crackle in his eyes. Whiskers grabs the gun from Jamal and snaps it in two as if it were just a twig. He then reaches into the existential aether of the pale thin air and pulls a machine gun right out of the nothing. A streak of fear shoots through both Jamal and Pyro and the pair make a mad dash as fast as they can with Whiskers chasing after them firing REAL BULLETS. The two friends rush out of Wacky Wood Forest with the mad cat giving chase disappearing over the mountains into the wild blue yonder. Once the trio has vanished, a momentary pause soon gives way to a hailstorm of bullets which riddle the sun up above to spell out the words, THE END cuing the cartoon to end with an iris out.

This very short script is part of a series of micro-shorts I've come to call "Toon 5some Quickgags". The regular shorts in my series are intended to be anywhere from 6 to 10 minutes in length. The "Quickgags" on the other-hand are meant to be no longer than roughly 4 minutes. I had originally planned everything to play out in a standard TV show format taking inspiration from 90's series like "Tiny Toon Adventures" and "Animaniacs". The idea was for these mini-shorts to appear sparingly between showings of the regular shorts, sort of like a quick vignette before the next cartoon.

I shall begin making animatics and storyboards for this cartoon in the near future to begin production, and hopefully garner a little attention, support, and help to turn this story into a fully animated cartoon for people of all ages to enjoy. If there are any animators out there with a knack for classic Looney Tunes/Disney style animation who'd like to lend a hand, please send me a note, because I definitely need all the help I can get.

You can support my projects on Patreon... www.patreon.com/iamtheunison

OR

Buy me a Ko-fi... ko-fi.com/A810IUM, but only if you want.
© 2017 - 2024 T5-Comix-Cartoonz
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