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Classic Cartoon Characters Are Celestials!

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(Artwork provided by the talented :iconhiko-kujaku:)

...Or as I prefer to call them, "Phantasmals".

Another one of my many crazy batshit theories? Maybe, but hear me out and by the time I'm done you might find you somewhat agree with my hypothesis. The first issue we must address is the question of what exactly is a celestial? Angels to some? Demons to others? Aliens per chance? Gods, maybe even? An exact definition is uncertain. The only thing we can say for sure is that they are beings of immense power who vibrate on a high cosmic frequency far beyond that of the corporeal universe we mere simple humans call home.

This is one of the reasons I've come to find myself slightly amused whenever anybody suggests a crossover fight between the classic characters of the animation "Golden Age" and any of the more recent less outrageous characters of the modern-day, because regardless of the character and their abilities the classic stars from those olden days of animation will always come out the victor. To put into perspective precisely what I mean; Popeye the Sailor is STRONGER than Superman! In fact, he's stronger than Superman, he's stronger than the Hulk, he's even stronger than Galactus!! And by that same token, Speedy Gonzales and the Road Runner are faster than the Flash, Bugs Bunny would make Loki look like a total chump, and yes, I dare say that even Mickey Mouse (wearing his little sorcerer's hat) would be even more powerful than Gandalf or Dr. Strange.

Why?

Because they are Celestials, beings of immense power who hail from worlds beyond any known to man or beast; worlds devoid of any strict natural laws or physics, and as such they are eternal, indestructible, and can warp the very fabric of reality to appease their every whim. However it is still not quite so simple as all that...for there is, of course, a catch. The obvious issue that crops up when we entertain the idea that these classic characters are celestial entities of such immense power is the question of why they seemingly don't use said power all the time. Why do certain characters such as Sylvester or Wile E. Coyote allow themselves to lose when they could bend and manipulate the laws of nature to their whim just as easily as their opposition can? Simple answer: Because it's all a game, and a game has rules.

A thing to consider is how much life changes when you hold all the cards. When you wield the power of creation in your hand and can mold the world around you to your liking the issue of purpose and meaning are instantly called into question...even more so then usual. For a mere mortal man, his purpose and meaning are derived intrinsically from his very struggle to survive against the insurmountable odds which the world has stacked against him, but if such a man were not so mere or mortal and instead possessed the power to rearrange the constructs of time and space and bend the physics of the universe to his very will how would that alter his perception of purpose? What meaning could he then garner from the lack of struggle or difficulty? Indeed I feel such a mindset must be held in contemplation when we consider the motivations and mentalities of creatures who exist on the opposite side of the immense cosmic spectrum.

Let's say for a minute that these whimsical characters we view as simple jesters were the like of gods with immeasurable power. How would their perception of meaning and purpose differ from our own? It is my assumption that they must view existence in a manner completely opposite from how we view it, and where we ponder on how we may achieve our goals they instead ponder on how they can hinder themselves from achieving theirs. Mad you may say, but what is life but plain and simple madness? Like it or not, life is hardship...it is suffering, and without this suffering and difficulty there is no true purpose for being; there is no growth, no progression, no substance, and as these fanciful beings exist in a world where the power of thought is as raw as the rays of the new day sun the prospect of difficulty is the one luxury they are not privy too, and so they manufacture it by willingly denying themselves their desire in order to simulate the feeling of hardship so that they too can have a taste for the fullness of substance and the illusion of a life filled with purpose.

Now to the issue of conflict, one does have to question how fruitless it would be to expend such power with such conviction when all-too easily your opposition could simply do the same and counteract your every move with an equally powerful yet opposite counter-maneuver? Hypothetically-speaking, if two beings with such power battled one another with such relentless ambition I would have to imagine the two combatants would be locked forever in a ceaseless impasse wherein neither one could surpass and move on. It would be a perpetual stalemate from which one could never claim victory. So in order for either to progress an agreement must be made beforehand; which takes us right back to my original theory about it all having been nothing more than a charade; a facade...a game of method-acting role-play wherein both active parties can exercise their abilities in order to hone their skills while simultaneously distracting themselves from the inevitable boredom destined to forever plague such almighty beings, or perhaps instead it is a battle of wills and mental fortitude wherein it is not power that wins the day, but creativity and originality, and so it is the one who imagines more and thinks more open-mindedly that wins out against the opponent who does not. Perhaps the key weapons in fights between such beings are flexibility and abstractivity; a literal battle between creativity and stubbornness.

Of course, that's just ONE possible theory. Another possibility might be that they just don't know the true extent of their power or perhaps they forget because the raw intensity of that power drives them mad and forever warps their perspective. They live in universes where time and space are fluid and unstable, and thus prone to illogical changes, and perhaps these same volatile changes encompass even their own thoughts and memories rendering their perception of existence unstable as well---who can truly say?

Such theoretical mentalities would even negate the core principal of self-preservation for where is the fear of mortality when one is nigh indestructible and everlasting. If one cannot age physically and is subject to sometimes forget events which may have already passed does one ever truly age at all? Even if they were to somehow seemingly "die", death for them is never truly a permanent condition. They will always eventually come back as though nothing ever really happened; rendering the very prospect of "death" an impotent fear as to die is just a temporary inconvenience for one them. What is purpose, value, life, fear, or death when one exists in a perpetual dreamlike state where the power of one's thoughts is all one needs to change the world around them and alter their existence? Unraveling the mystery these fantastic clowns of ink and paint pose might very well be the key to mankind's many unanswered question and the first grand stepping stone towards true enlightenment and cosmic transcendence!

...but then again, I could just be over-thinking it. :shrug:

Also, for all you DCU fans out there, you could make the connection that classic cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse are on par with 5th Dimensional Imps like Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite...after all, there was actually a crossover comic where Mxyzptlk and Yo-yo Dodo merged their two universes together, but that's a crazed speculation for another day.

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NinjaShadow-X's avatar

"Yeah, well I always liked Bugs better anyways!"

Me: "That makes two of us."